Alejandro Guerrero Guerrero1
Mrs. Meadows
English G/H
4 October 2011
Some people think that gingers have a short temper, and that they have no patience, but I can assure you that its just a stereotype. For you see, my brother Alex was not like this. He was a nice, easygoing type of person. My brother would rarely get mad; he was one of the only people that understood me.
The one thing that I can remember the most about him was his worn down Em-Jay baseball mitt. Ever since the first time I took him to see a Dodgers game, he talked about wanting to play baseball just like his favorite player on the Dodgers, Pete Reiser. One day after a Dodgers game he asked me if I could buy him a glove so that he could start playing, he begged for it so much that after a while I reluctantly agreed. We went into the store near the stadium. The only thing I hoped for was that there would be a lefty glove for him. As soon as we reached the section where the baseball mitts where sold, he set his eyes on one of the few lefty gloves there where: a rare Em-Jay. He wouldn't take his eyes of of it. I asked how much it was selling for and the guy said it was a whopping 10 bucks. I knew that once you promised Alex something you had to do it, word where like laws to him. After I bought him the glove I asked him what position he waned to play (I already new the answer), he wanted to play outfielder just like Pete Reiser.
As soon as we got home he rushed to his room and grabbed a green pen and started to write on his glove. As soon as I found out about this I got mad at him and asked him what the hell he was doing. He told me that he was writing down his favorite poems so that he wouldn’t get bored when he was on the field. I then asked him was why in green ink, he told me it was Pete’s favorite color. Alex, like Pete, an exceptional outfielder.
Some people say that gingers are rude and mean but Alex wasn't like that. All of the teachers would say that he was a very nice kid. My brother was also very smart, he was the perfect child, that my parents would always brag about. The teachers would always say how smart he
Guerrero2
was and it wasn’t bull, they actually meant it. I admired him even though he was my little brother.
Even though my brother had all these positive qualities he was very ill . Alex had leukemia; that was the only bad thing. I would always pray for his well- being but one day that wasn't enough and he died. My room was in the garage and on that day I smashed all the windows in the garage, I wanted to smash the windows in the station wagon as well but my hand was already bad enough. My parents wanted to take me to a physcoanalist for smashing all the windows I didn't really give a crap about what they thought I was just plain old mad, because I loved him so much
Even now, I cant fully close my hand and occasionally it hurts, but the pain from his death hurt more than anything. I will always That carefree smile he had on while he was playing baseball and that huge grin he had when I bought him the glove, and the poems he wrote on it. So in conclusion I ended up with a dead brother whom I loved, a baseball glove and a messed up hand.
i really liked how catchy your title is with the story. amazing job
ReplyDeleteReally good story! Your tittle was really cool and how it really represents your story. Good job! :D.
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ReplyDeleteWhen you say new in the 2nd paragraph I think you mean knew and in the 3rd paragraph your sentences both start with as soon as, try a different transition.
ReplyDeleteI really like how you build up to the part of getting the glove and how it shows Holden being the caring older brother. I think you tone is a little strong for the particular audience (His English teacher) so I dont think you'd be using "I don't give a crap" of "Bull" in your english papers but I do get why you had them there.
Your ending is really good, very Holden-y. It's like short and sweet and cynical
Great job! :)
Oh and great title it was refreshing to see something that stood out from the list of "The Mitt"s
This story is really good. I like how you told the name of the real player, company the glove was made by and Alex's favorite team.
ReplyDeleteAlejandro you need to set up comment moderation!
ReplyDeleteWow. First of all, I think your title is really original. I love how throughout the story you somehow show knowledge and give excelent details on what kind of glove it was, and why it was so special. I think you need to check the last two paragraphs, some parts are confusing. (ex: I didn't really give a crap about what they thought I was just plain old mad, because I loved him so much
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overall I enjoyed reading your story and it really stands out from (like maha said,) the "Mitt" stories :)
This Composition was really amazing. The way it flows was also really good. Overall it was a great job. P.S. Love the Title.
ReplyDeleteAlejandro, u need to remove word security thing, and enable comment moderation
ReplyDeleteYour story was really great, especially because you didn´t get off track with the whole glove thing. I do agree with Natalia though, the last 2 paragraphs are a little bit confusing. Overall good job!
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